Thursday, September 2, 2010

Rough Couple of Weeks

Before I get into all the negatives, Savannah has been awesome. No complaints with her.

She's sleeping through the night every night, we've got her on a semi decent schedule. She's laughing, babbling, squawking, and giggling. We had her baptized last weekend and the deacon asked if she was always that good. We said "Yes and we know we are lucky!". She laughed as he poured water on her head. I've never had another baby but if they all were this incredible I'd sign up to have ten more! Fortunately to save my ute from the trouble, my brain and gut scream that they aren't all like this. Good thing that I have planned to just enjoy her for awhile. She's growing so fast and I'm trying to savor every second.

We started cereal last weekend and she hasn't seemed to be a big fan. The rice cereal seemed to make her gassy and she doesn't seem to like the taste of the oatmeal as much. I think that once her highchair arrives (scheduled for tomorrow), we are going to jump on over to veggies and see how that goes.

Now, time for complaints! Two weekends ago, I got an extremely painful clogged duct. It was clogged for a few hours and it absolutely killed my supply. I had to try and squeeze in extra pump sessions at work. Thankfully my boss was gone and wasn't hounding me every fifteen minutes. Monday I was getting maybe 2 ounces out of normally 5-6 ounce sessions. I was freaking out and hoping it wasn't permanent. No need for all the tears, my supply was back up by the end of week.

The next week rolls around and lo and behold, I cannot get a letdown to save my life during my middle of the night pump. I try for 45+ minutes two nights in a row and nothing. Barely get an ounce. I end up grabbing S to feed her for fear of getting another plugged duct. What is strange is that I could pump at work just fine. It was extremely frustrating. I found my trick after a few nights, I went down a size of flanges and finally ended up taking only fifteen minutes to get a let down. That night I pumped out ten ounces. I felt like old Jen again! Ever since I had dropped the middle of the night pump and picked it back up again, I wasn't getting that much. I also had J bring the glider back downstairs because I suspected my boobs had gotten used to my feet being propped up like I have them at work. They are getting fickle.

Then the weekend came and I got another plugged duct. I'm still not 100% sure how or why this one popped up. Luckily I caught it quickly and was able to get S to work it out. This one didn't have any affect on my supply this time, which I am thankful for.

I'm pretty over breastfeeding, I'm really ready to have my body back. The biggest problem is that I feel guilty quitting when I obviously can feed her and keep her mostly satisfied. Some women would kill for that. The other thing is that she's doing so well on breast milk, I mean, would you look at those cheeks, those thighs, and those rolls?? I also love the benefits for me, I'm still losing weight and can eat what I want. Take that Jillian!! I've lost over 40 lbs since giving birth and I'm under where I started by now.

My goal was six months, now it's a year. I swear though, if I get many more of these plugged ducts, I'm done. I don't love breastfeeding but it's cheaper than formula!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Monday, August 2, 2010

Sleeping in her own room = Fail!

Since we got home from the hospital, Savannah has been sleeping in our room in her pack-n-play (PNP). This weekend we decided to move her up into her wonderful nursery. I went out and got a breathable bumper last weekend in anticipation of the day we were putting off. Saturday we were cleaning and Justin packed up the PNP and even moved the rocker upstairs. "No turning back now!!" as Justin said.

Saturday night was tough for me. I nursed her upstairs for the first time in her room and read her a story. I put her down in the crib, turned on the monitor, turned off the lamp, and walked out.

She did fantastic! She fell asleep right away. Us? Not so much! When I finally fell asleep, I slept pretty well surprisingly. Justin? Not so much. He apparently spent most of the night watching the monitor and watching her breathe. When he did doze off, he woke up in a panic. He was useless on Sunday because of the little sleep he got.

Sunday night, I let Justin have a turn at putting her to bed. He took her upstairs and we were trying to adjust the monitor because he had moved it's position on the crib. He said, "I can't do this. I need my sleep and I like her downstairs with us.". Next thing I knew, he had brought Savannah downstairs and headed back up to retrieve the PNP. She slept down in our room again and I suspect that's where she will for awhile now!

Paranoid parents? That's us!!

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Location:Golden Gate Park,Austin,United States

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

I love my baby girl!

I love, love, love my baby girl so very much!

I am so completely and utterly amazed by everything she does, every smile she smiles. They still melt my heart.

I've been such a slacker at blogging yet again, but life has been getting in the way. When I get home from work, I want to spend every waking moment with S. I have to pay her daddy some attention too and spend time with him. I also, somehow, have to make time for ME. I feel pulled in a lot of different directions. But you know what? I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love being a mother.

Savannah started sleeping all through the night a few weeks ago. Hallelujah!! Not that she was difficult with one feeding at night. She is a phenomenal sleeper. I guess being prepared for the worst makes everything a little easier to handle. I would pump while Justin would give her a bottle. We'd be up and everyone would be back to sleep within 30 minutes. You won't get a complaint about that at all from me!
We went to Oregon to visit Justin's family and that did throw her off her schedule a bit, but towards the end of the trip, she was sleeping through the night again and has since we've been home. Can you believe she even lets us sleep in on weekends? I feel blessed to have the most easy-going baby ever. I guess after already "mothering" four babies, the big guy upstairs maybe felt I did my time.

Anyway, the plane rides were a success. I was so nervous to be THAT person with the screaming baby on the plane, but S was a champ. I think she liked the white noise of the plane and slept through most our flights. I also had to become more comfortable with nursing in public. I'm such a prude, I have a hard time doing it. I hate that people might be looking at me in disgust or even otherwise. We survived though!

While in Oregon, S had some firsts! She rolled over a couple times from her back to her tummy, she saw mountains and snow, she took her first trip to the zoo, and she met her daddy's cousins and aunts and uncles. I think she had a blast and enjoyed the cooler weather. I don't blame her, Texas gets hot as the sun sometimes in the summer.
Yesterday was her 4 month appointment. She's 25.5" tall (89 percentile) and 14 lbs, 11 oz (72 percentile). I don't know how, but I am growing a big girl! She's going to take after her daddy and tower over me by the time she's 8 or something. I secretly really hope that she slows down a bit on this. Everything is great with her. She's grabbing things here and there, but right now really just prefers to munch on her hand. She gets about 7-8 fingers in her mouth at one time and just chews away. I've tried to replace her hands with a teether and she's just not interested yet. She also babbles all the time. She's getting to be very noisy! She's FINALLY started to really like her swing and she's started to enjoy being in her jumparoo and bouncing.

She's so much fun now and I know its only going to get better! I'm a little sad that she's not my tiny little infant anymore, but don't read between the lines, I'm far from anxious to have #2!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Back to work

Maternity leave ended on Monday, so unfortunately it was back to work on Tuesday. It was a little surreal being back. My coworkers were very sweet and got me a box of my favorite cookies. Not good for the pudge but oh well. I managed however, to save the tears until I got home.

Wednesday was a lot tougher. I cried here at work. Reality is sinking in and it sucks. The nanny sent me a picture and Savannah looked grumpy. :-(. She didn't nap well Tuesday, but she slept well that night despite being cranky. I took her sleep positioner, the "Snuggle Nest" over to see if that helped on Wednesday and seems like it did. I thought maybe it would help her feel more at home. I also instucted the nanny to swaddle her. She didn't try that Tuesday, even though last week I mentioned to her that Savannah likes to be swaddled for sleeping.

It slightly bugged me that she didn't call or text to ask if there was anything that would help Savannah sleep. I don't want to come across as a controlling parent, but she's my baby. Plus, I know what she likes and doesn't like.

Wednesday night led to a lot of tears. All I wanted to do was snuggle her and kiss her and smell her. All Savannah wanted to was nurse all evening off and on, like she missed it. I was flattered of course, after all our struggling early on, now she seems to enjoy it. I just felt guilty. I waited for Savannah for almost three years and to just go place her with someone feels wrong.

I wish I would have known I'd feel this way. I thought I'd want to be a working mom with all my drive and determination. I thought I'd miss adult interaction. I didn't! I wish we'd made plans years ago. Actually though with the recession, even the best laid plans probably wouldn't have worked out.

I just hope this gets easier. Everyone says it will and I hope they aren't just saying that. I feel like I have the "baby blues" all over again.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, June 11, 2010

The Wii says...

The Wii says that I am down 4 lbs from the last weigh in which is 4 lbs down from even pre-pregnancy because I had already lost all the weight.

The Wii also says Savannah is 13.6 lbs. Way to go monkey!!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Thursday, June 10, 2010

Good News & Bad News

Good news is that my pre-pregnancy work pants fit like a glove. I'm kind of amazed. I know I've lost the weight and have kept it off for awhile now, but my body is definitely "different". I'm pleased my pants fit. Some of them are actually a little big. Some are snug and if I were buying them today, I'd go up a size to be comfortable; but they will do.

Bad news is that 95% of my old shirts don't fit with my new boobs. This is a problem. I hope I can convince Justin to do a little shopping with me this weekend! Or let Savannah Banana and I go. She has a onesie that says, "Shopping with Mommy Makes Me Happy!" She's a momma's girl. I think all the smiles I can get out of her prove it. :)

We went to hang out with the nanny yesterday. It went well. I like her and she's good with kids....I just don't want to leave little S. :(

S is going to be spending time with another little boy who is 7 months old. He's so big compared to her and when we "introduced" them yesterday, the little Mr. C took a liking to Savannah, I think, because he leaned over and put his hand on her thigh! We both were like, "Cxxx!!!" I half jokingly told Justin he needs to start cleaning that gun. He's been saying for months now how he wants to get a gun, just to clean it when the boys come calling. He might need that sooner than 15 or 16 years from now!

Here's my little monkey in one of her many panda outfits. She was 11 weeks old yesterday.

Monday, June 7, 2010


I wish (for Savannah's sake) I could quit my job but I really don't think it's going to happen anytime soon. To save my sanity, rather than look at the full three years or whatever we are looking at, I'm looking at things in six month increments-which will stretch out multiple times.

I like my job, I like the people I work with, but this little girl has rocked my world and rearranged my priorities unexpectedly. I should have seen it coming. Oh well. We have to make the best of it.

Hopefully Justin doesn't mouth off and get fired, I think that secretly he would love to be Mr. Mom. He's such a hands-on dad.

In other news, last week was the first week Savannah did not reject one single breastfeeding session! It only took ten weeks, but I think we are getting the hang of it!! She's becoming so interactive. We have hour long smile and stare sessions at each other and much to her daddy's dismay; she seems to be a momma's girl. She can track us moving, she turns her head to look for me when she hears my voice, she's got the smiling down great. She will grab hair and necklaces, as well as my shirt and her blankets, but she hasn't reached out for any toys yet. I can't believe how fast she's growing and I love watching her learn!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Friday, June 4, 2010

One more week of maternity leave...

....and then its back to the "real world" for me. I'm dreading it.

I never thought I would feel so strongly about this, but I am ready to give up everything for her. I hate that we waited so long for her and are now dumping her off with a stranger. Fortunately, we found another couple with a nanny for their now six-month old little boy that was just itching to nanny-share, so she'll get a lot more one-on-one attention than at a daycare. She will also get to "socialize" with another baby, which granted, probably won't be all that much until she's older since she won't be all that interested. But still, its a little more personal for us. Nanny is from Brazil and speaks Portuguese and Spanish, as well as English of course, so Savannah will get to learn another language as she grows. If we knew someone who knew Mandarin, we'd have a well-rounded baby.

I'm changing my work hours from 9 am to 6 pm (or usually ended up being 7 pm) to 8 am to 4 pm without leaving for lunch. We'll see how that goes. I can tell you now that I'm not a fan. I really wish my boss was more flexible, but he's mentioned to a coworker who went to a part time schedule that he really wants us in the office every day. She's already locked up the part time option and I highly doubt he'd let two of us do that. I give it to the end of the year for Justin to either make more money and/or we get our credit cards paid down and we can re-evaluate our financial position. I don't make a boat ton of money, but I make a damn good amount and we're pretty used to our we have to be comfortable with letting that go. Or maybe just have a heart to heart with my boss and negotiate something. I don't see why I couldn't work from home with the right equipment. Everything is submitted electronically these days, I feel like offices are becoming obsolete. I know though that he likes hollering out "Jennifer" from his office.... :-/

Anyway, on a happier note, in the past week, Savannah has really been smiling like crazy. She can't do much, but she can smile often and beautifully. It literally melts my heart and still brings tears to my eyes every now and then. The other day, we must have had an hour long session where she just laid next to me and we stared at each other and smiled over and over and over. I think she's becoming a Momma's girl because that same night, she wanted nothing to do with her daddy. He would hold her and she'd look around for me. Ha. I love it. I must be the luckiest person in the world. I'm sure every mom thinks that about their baby though. I am so thankful that she's healthy, appears to be happy, and that she's mine. She is perfect and I love her so much.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Blogging from the iPhone

This might be easier for me. I'll be able to blog while I'm nursing.

We still have thrush/yeast infection. We are both taking Diflucan for 7 days. I'm not in much pain anymore but her mouth still has white patches in it. It's so frustrating since I can't freeze any milk--I'm making plenty of it. Pedi said I can't while taking Diflucan.

We survived two graduations this weekend. S was so well behaved. Such a little angel! My little brother graduated from Texas A&M with a 4.0. He was one of only 27 kids in a class of 6500. I'm so proud of him, he's a smart kid. We also made the trek to my future sister-in-law's graduation from Baylor with a nursing degree.

I realized that I have to go back to work in a month from today. I'm dreading it. I never imagined that I would love being a mom so much. I'm not looking forward to missing out on all her firsts. I'll likely miss her first word, first crawl, first step, etc. Maybe I'll luck out and she will save the good stuff for the weekends. Regardless, I think I'll just have to tell the nanny to not tell me if she does something new so I get to think that I'm watching her first time. Of course, I know I'm just the kind of person that would wonder in the back of my mind if she's done that before. I'm going to have to suppress those thoughts!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Monday, May 10, 2010

Tough Time

We've been having a tough time with breastfeeding. It's not easy. It's not easy AND I'm making plenty of milk. That's not the trouble--the trouble is that I have a yeast infection and it feels like knives in my nipples. Pleasant huh?

I'm taking Diflucan to try and clear this up. Savannah has thrush and she's taking Nystatin. I also was potentially developing mastitis and they gave me antibiotics for that, plus a nipple cream. I'm washing my nipples in a vinegar mixture after breastfeeding. I'm sterilizing her paci and bottles nightly. I'm washing the bibs, burp cloths, my tanks and bras, the boppy cover, etc. in hot water nightly. I've been doing this for almost a WEEK now and don't feel like we've made much progress. I'm so frustrated. I can't freeze any of the milk I've been pumping and I can't bring myself to total up all that I've sent down the drain. It sucks. So much for building a good size freezer stash before I have to go back to work.

I feel like we're back to the first couple weeks. My nipples hurt all the time. She's fussy while nursing. I'm so frustrated and I think about quitting multiple times a day now. But I can't.... She needs this and she needs me to plow through it. She's growing like a weed, last week at six weeks she was 11 lbs, 13.5 oz. I try to remind myself that she's thriving being breastfed and that this is the best thing I can do for her. Selfish me wants my boobs back. I'm trying to take it one day at a time. When I feel like quitting, I commit to one more day and it gets me through to the next day.

One day at a time.....

Otherwise, I still love this little girl more than life itself. She's growing so fast and becoming more and more alert every day. I love watching her take in the world. I'm so lucky that she's mine.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Such a Slacker!

I'm sorry I've been such a slacker on the blog front. I will blame it on just being busy! For awhile there, my posts probably would have been fairly depressing and full of complaints about breastfeeding--the one part of being a mom that I was having the worst time with. I also was slightly hormonal and crazy for a few weeks there and totally felt like an inadequate mom. I wouldn't say it was depression, it was the fact that sheesh, I couldn't think right with all these hormones dumping out of my body. I cried no less than three times a day. 90% of the time though I was crying happy tears. I thank God multiple times a day for blessing us with this beautiful little girl that we waited for for way too long. She's perfect and actually a pretty easy baby and I would do everything all over again if I had to for her. Other times I'd cry because I didn't feel like a good mom and would feel guilty over all sorts of stupid things. It was hard....but I've been loving most every minute of it.

Savannah turned a month old yesterday and I can honestly say that just now, I'm finding my groove as a mom and she's learning more about me. We're clicking. She's getting on a schedule. I'm getting on a schedule. Breastfeeding is getting easier. I can't count the times I wanted to give up on it. It's painful, it's time-consuming, it's tough. But we're getting it. She's latching on better so its not so uncomfortable, I'm figuring out what works for the both of us. I knew it would be tough, but its a lot tougher than I thought it would be. If Justin had it his way, I'd exclusively pump. It's easier on me, it's more efficient, we can see how much she's eating, it would let him be more involved, etc. etc. I didn't want to exclusively pump, I wanted that mother-baby bonding experience you hear so much about. However, I'm still waiting on that. I guess I can't expect much from a 4-week old, she still nurses half-asleep or closes her eyes while she eats a lot. I'm so lucky to have the support of many of my friends from the Nest that have been along for the ride of dealing with infertility and then having their baby (or babies). They've been very sympathetic and encouraging and they've been right too - it's getting easier. You've just got to stick it out for six weeks or so. I wouldn't say that we've mastered breastfeeding yet, but its definitely gotten so much better than it was.

Otherwise, I love being a mom. I never thought I'd love the newborn stage so much, I've never been a "baby person", I was always looking forward to the toddler years, but I love her this small already. She's growing so fast though and I know there is so much to look forward too. I'm trying to enjoy this while I can and she makes it easy to enjoy since she's an easy baby. Maybe I just am so scarred from growing up with quads in the house, but one is so much easier than four. However, one is still time consuming. I don't know how my parents didn't end up committed in an asylum or something.

We had some rough nights with sleeping, but overall, it's going well too since the first week. She lets us sleep about 7+ hours most every night which I think is awesome for a newborn. I was expecting more like six max. Last night we got about 9 hours! ::knocks on wood:: I hope it continues. Now granted, we have to do about a million things to ensure that quality of sleep, but its worth it. She's in the pack-n-play down in our room. We have a sleep positioner (the "Supreme Snuggle Nest"), we swaddle her up tight, turn on the giraffe that has a heartbeat noise, turn on her night light (it's cute and looks like a puppy), make sure her binkie is nearby, and turn on the classical music on my iPhone. She's finally getting a hang of the routine and the past few nights has been closing her eyes as soon as we get all our lights turned off and all her things set up. Like, "Alright, I know the drill now, I'll try to go to sleep". We're lucky that she's a really good sleeper, once she gets to sleep. She would fight it for awhile. I'm sure we're up for more rough nights still, but I think they'll start to get more rare.

Long story short, we're doing great and loving every minute with her - even in the middle of the night when she's fussy.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Our Beautiful Baby Girl

We are so in love with our sweetheart.

Here are more shots of our little baby doll.


Monday, April 5, 2010

Newborn Photo Sneak Peek

We had newborn photos done last Wednesday at one week. We're still waiting on the proofs, but we got a sneak peek at one of the photos. We had one of our pitties, Peyton pose with Savannah since he's been so good with her already and because he's very well trained to pose.

Look at how fantastic it turned out!

Savannah & Peyton

Peyton is a mama's boy and my lap dog. He's taken the addition of Savannah to our "pack" quite well. I try to pet him and love on him while Justin's spending time with Savannah so we can still get our "Mommy and Me" time in. I hope things continue to go well with the dogs, but so far, so good.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Savannah's Birth Story

This is a little late, obviously, but I've been busy with a newborn. She's fantastic though, and I'll post pictures later. ;-)

March 24, 2010

We arrived at the hospital at 5:30 am, as they requested for a 6 am induction and checked in. We had to sit in the waiting room and didn’t get an L&D room until after 8 am because our assigned nurse had not arrived and our assigned room wasn’t clean. Things didn’t seem to be getting off to a good start as that made me pretty cranky from the lack of sleep.

8:40 am – Penicillin IV got started (because I was GBS+) and was checked for progress. 4 cm dilation, still about 80% effaced….Baby was at -1.

8:50 am – Doctor broke water. Ick, ick, ick!

Contractions didn’t start coming regularly or with any intensity until about 11 am. They went from 0-60 immediately. I started walking around the room and standing up to try to get baby to drop. It must have strengthened labor too as contractions got really intense. They were still manageable though. Justin was an awesome husband/coach and tried to rub my back to take my mind off the pain. They started getting strong so at 11:30, I went ahead and asked for the epidural since they said to ask about 20 minutes before I’ll really want it.

In the meantime, contractions got really bad and I felt all of them in my back at my tailbone. I felt excruciating pain to the point where I was screaming for the drugs and got really grouchy and irritable. There was no sense in holding out any longer….even though I was probably going to end up slowing down labor, I couldn’t take it—it felt like I was being stabbed in my back and I’d have to say that was some of the worst pain I’d ever felt. I’d had kidney surgery before and that recovery was painful and rough, and I have a tattoo on my back ribcage, which was very painful, but this was above and beyond any of that.

12:45 pm – FINALLY got epidural (an hour+ after requested) and was at 8 cm dilation. I felt relief immediately, knowing I was getting close and that the pain was gone. The epidural was the weirdest thing ever. My legs tingled like they were asleep and I could feel when DH put his hand on them, but I didn’t feel any pain nor could I move them.

We spent the next few hours hanging out—my parents, Justin, and his mom. The afternoon was a blur. I tried to relax and take a nap, but I was so hopped up on adrenaline that I couldn’t sleep. I was so excited, I had been waiting for this for so long—counting all the months we tried and the whole pregnancy, I was so ready to meet her. Around 4:00 or so, I started to feel pressure a lot lower than where I had felt before so I asked to be checked again. 9.5 cm. So close!

I started to get the urge to push at about 5 pm. I was at 10 cm finally (a full freaking day’s work) and the L&D nurse said we could start pushing. She got my doc on call and got everything set up so I started pushing. My epidural started to wear off, which was worrying me, but the nurse sounded like that was better so I could feel more and push better. It wasn’t too terrible at that point. I didn’t know how long of a haul I was in for, but I was optimistic it wasn’t going to take too long to get her out. So I pushed. And I pushed. And I pushed. And pushed more. An hour later, I was worn out and baby was still in posterior position and hung up on my pelvic bone…and the nurse was getting concerned about her heart rate. It was mostly steady but it would drop at times and she didn’t like it. (This was where details started to get fuzzy……) They put an oxygen mask on me and called my doc in. By now I was starting to be in pain. My nurse’s shift was over so someone else came in to take over the delivery. This switch meant my third nurse of the day!

My doc came in, told me the baby was stuck and that they’d let me push for another hour. She would inform the on-call doc what was going on, but she told me there was a 50-50 chance that I would need a c-section. At this point, I’m worn out, emotional, confused, so I started crying. I knew then and there that I’d need a c-section. I just knew it. I know I might have joked around about wanting one early on in my pregnancy, but when it came down to it, that’s the absolute last thing I wanted. I wanted to deliver my baby vaginally like most other people can, I didn’t want to deal with a c-section recovery, and I wanted to prove to myself that I could do one of the most difficult things I’d ever have to do. I also felt ditched by my doctor. I’m not sure if because she wasn’t on call that she didn’t have OR rights that night, but if she was already there, why not just stay and deliver my baby? Why did I need to push for another hour? Why didn’t she make the executive decision to proceed with the c-section? She was so excited for me when she found out I was pregnant and earlier in the month, she wanted me to hold out for another week so I wouldn’t deliver while she was on spring break. With that comment, I assumed she wanted to be the one to deliver my baby. She didn’t really give a reason for leaving other than hinted that it was time to go home-- I guess it was about 6:30 pm by this point. (Needless to say, I’m pretty ticked and we have some things to discuss at my six-week postpartum check. I think I’m going to have a different OB for #2 –this really disappointed me).

Justin’s freaking out as he’s already seen me in so much pain, I’m bawling, Justin calls my mom in for a pep talk. I thought she asked to come in, but reading his text messages later (shhhh! I was curious what he said.), I think he was completely freaked and didn’t know how to deal. They didn’t cover this in our childbirth class. I’m pretty sad that I don’t remember exact specifics, but it was the best damn pep talk I’ve ever had and boy, did I need it. She calmed me down about the c-section possibility and gave me motivation to push for a while longer provided it was safe for me and safe for the baby. Nurse #3 assured me I was in good hands and that they were monitoring both of us. Nurse called the anesthesiologist to get me another round of an epidural since the first one had worn off. I ended up taking a break for about 30 minutes between my doc coming in and my mom’s pep talk and we start up on round #2 of pushing.

I gave it a go for another 50+ minutes and didn’t make much more progress than I had the first hour of pushing. Nurse makes the call to get the OR ready and things set up. At this point, the room becomes slightly chaotic with everyone coming in to get us prepped and ready for the surgery. I’m not quite sure what all they gave me, but whatever it was, it knocked me out. I was in and out of consciousness at times and I was shaking uncontrollably. I was slightly cold, but even when they gave me a warming blanket, I was still shaking. They cart me in to the OR, its bright as the sun compared to the nice dim lights in my L&D room. I don’t remember much, as like I said, I wasn’t fully all there, but I remember the pressure when they pulled her out, I remember hearing her cry (it was more like a cute squawk), and I remember them saying what a big girl she was. They took her over to the warming bin (which had “Panda Warmer” stickers all over it, I guess that’s a brand or type of warmer, not sure) to get her cleaned off. Justin said that he was afraid to touch her until the nurses gave him the ok, which of course they did right away and she grabbed his finger instantly and wouldn’t let go.

They were still working on me and I felt them staple me up. It didn’t hurt, but I heard the stapler and felt the pressure every couple seconds. Justin brought the baby over to me and I remember he asked if he should go with her to the nursery or if I wanted him to stay with me, I told him to go with her; I’d be ok with the doctors and nurses. I asked how big she was – 8 lbs, 4 ounces and 21 inches long! How did that ever fit in 5’2” me? I remember giving her a kiss before they took her off and she was wide awake and alert and not crying. She had her big eyes open and looked right at me. It was the most precious thing I’d ever seen. I started crying again…or maybe just kept crying.

They finished me up and wheeled me off to recovery. At this point, I felt the drugs wearing off again and I felt a lot of pain at the incision site. My nurse kept asking if they should bring the baby in and I felt so bad, but I wasn’t ready to see her yet. I couldn’t function other than continue to cry. Justin came in to tell me about her, he was so excited and I could tell that he was already in love. I wanted to meet her so bad, and I can’t explain it, but there was this urge to just be at my best for her and I couldn’t do that just yet. My mom came in and they gave me enough drugs to make me comfortable. I think I spent an hour in recovery before they kicked me out to my postpartum room where I finally got to meet my beautiful daughter, Savannah Jane. It was the crazy instant connection that I always heard about. I didn’t even know her but loved her and would do the entire day all over again in a heartbeat if that’s what it took.

We had a rough first night; she wasn’t born until 8:56 pm, so she was bent out of shape a bit trying to adjust to being an outside baby. I was stuck in bed and exhausted so Justin had to try to comfort her (and me) all night. Poor thing. I feel really bad, but he handled it like a champ and was so great at being the father and husband we needed him to be. We finally asked the nurses to take her to the nursery because we needed some rest after the long day—even though that wasn’t the plan EVER. Well, she was inconsolable and we wanted to hold out on giving her a pacifier, so they brought her back…..twice. Justin though stayed up and held her, because even I couldn’t make her feel better.

The rest of our hospital stay was better, but she ended up dropping a lot of weight in two days because apparently she got dehydrated. We had no choice but to start supplementing with formula—our pediatrician said we didn’t have other options. However, our pedi is AWESOME and everything she has suggested or told us has worked out for the best. Thanks to the Austin nesties for recommending Dr. Cepeda. We’ve been patients for a little over a week and already love her.

My milk came in pretty quickly which helped, but the first couple days were rough. We used the SNS tube thing which gets taped above my nipple to help her try to latch on, but we really struggled there for awhile. We got to go home on Sunday of that week, after having Savannah Wednesday night and it really helped us all coming home and being able to relax. My recovery is going pretty well, I’m getting around well, and the lingering pain is getting more manageable. Breastfeeding is slightly rough, but she’s getting it. It seems to get easier and easier as we both get the hang of it.

Now she’s a week and a half old and we’re all smitten!! She’s a pretty easy baby and very alert when she’s awake, just watching the world around her. She doesn’t cry much at all, but when she does, it’s usually because of an easily solved problem—she’s hungry, she needs a diaper change, or she needs to burp. I’ve enjoyed being a mom more than I ever imagined, not that I didn’t know I‘d love it, but I thought I’d despise the newborn phase and not be able to wait until she was a toddler. I love her like this and already dread her growing up. Like I said, I’d already do it all over again for her.

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

And oh yeah....

I'm having a baby tomorrow - March 24!!!

Doc and PA think I should be induced because my blood pressure is rising steadily and the swelling is just getting worse. At last week's appointment, I was at 3.5 cm dilated and 80% effaced, only slight progress from 3 cm dilated and 70% effaced the previous week. PA did say, "I'm quite surprised to see you again, this baby should have fallen out by now." Contractions have decreased actually and seems like progress is stalling out. Who knows how long this could go on....But thanks (note sarcasm) to the pre-e symptoms, they think it is better to go ahead and induce now, rather than wait another two weeks. I had high hopes that it would happen on its own between then and now, but it hasn't.

In the meantime, I'm either coming down with a cold or suffering from allergies. Sucks. I did so good for 9 months and then bam, Sunday I came down with a sore throat and runny nose. :-( Wouldn't ya know, before I need to be on my "A game". I think it could be allergies, as it seems to be all in my head. I feel "ok" otherwise, which is a relative statement for being 39 weeks pregnant, right?

So tomorrow should be the big day. I'm excited and terrified all at the same time. It hasn't even sunk in yet that we're finally going to meet our baby tomorrow. Our baby. The one we've been waiting to meet for almost THREE YEARS.

I'll update with pics and a birth story when I can. I hope its a smooth positive one and not some of the nightmares I've heard about.

Since I've been slacking, here's a couple last belly pics.

38 Weeks, 3 days:

And from today, 39 weeks, 2 days:

Updated Nursery Pics

Added some more stuff on the walls.

(Still need to get the hutch for the dresser)

(Note the birds on the wall above the door and closet)

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

37 Weeks, 3 Days

Second progress check today.

I am 3 cm dilated and 70% effaced. Doctor thinks baby could be coming "soon". I'm impatient.

Monday, March 8, 2010

36 Weeks, 4 Days = First Progress Check

36 Weeks, 4 Days

I had my first progress check last Thursday. OMG that hurt ridiculously bad. Good news is that I'm already 2-3 cm dilated and my cervix is definitely "thinning". I didn't get an effacement percentage. I saw the PA again since my doctor had to go deliver a baby and she said that things could happen that night or over the weekend...or....I could still make it to my due date.

Well, I'm still pregnant as of Monday obviously, I didn't hit the that night or over the weekend target. I reached 37 weeks yesterday, so this little girl is officially full term. I've been having contractions off and on and they feel more real than Braxton Hicks, but I guess that could be all they are since they don't seem to get more regular or progress. I also feel like I have a bowling ball resting on my bladder. I've had to ditch my rings. My clothes don't fit. I'm very ready to be done....albeit terrified to actually give birth.

Justin's terribly excited and impatient, well we both are, but I have more reasons I suspect.

My second progress check is on Wednesday and I am really not looking forward to another internal. I might actually prefer labor to avoid another one of those.

Catching up

35 Weeks, 2 Days

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Nursery Pics

Here are some nursery pics. It's close to being done, but I still need to add wall decor and some curtains. The ones I ordered from Land of Nod aren't long enough and not sure I want to wait until late March for the longer ones to ship out. Plus, I have a feeling the longer ones are going to be too long!

Here is a close up of the closet dividers that I made.

The decal came from etsy seller loladecor.

The birdhouses are from Hobby Lobby (like $6 each!). The chandelier came from Lowe's.

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Has she dropped? Has she dropped?

I am so ready to not be pregnant anymore. I feel bad that I can't just enjoy it, but the aches and pains, the worries that she's ok, it just makes me crazy. I also want to blame IF for just wanting to "rush" through the pregnancy. All I wanted was this baby when we started our journey in May 2007. It's 2010 now and I'm STILL waiting on her and I'm getting IMPATIENT!!! I know she needs to be in there a few more weeks, but I'm terrified of giving birth vaginally to a 9 lb baby. I'm not a big girl. "Things" hurt when something goes in my body....and its nowhere NEAR 9 lbs (sorry honey, but its not).

Baby is head down and she's been doing this thing where she kicks out on the left side of me, so I feel little feet way over above my hip on my side and then she pokes her butt out the right side of me. The little bugger is stretching me out side-to-side!!! If I'm going to get stretch marks from it ::shakes fist::, we're going to have to have a talk.

Here I am at 34 Weeks, 4 days.

Dropping is wishful thinking, huh? I feel like maybe a tiny bit compared to last week. I am definitely feeling more pressure down low and sometimes feel like I get punched on the hips, its a very weird sensation. The ribcage pain has DEFINITELY gotten a lot better over the past couple weeks. However, I still have moments where its hard to breathe.

My boobs have started leaking at night. They are getting big! (Hip hip hooray!) Well, big relative for what I'm used to looking down and seeing or looking in the mirror at. I wish this big ol' belly wasn't around, I was drooling over the new swimsuits in the Victoria's Secret catalog and imagining how great some of them would look on my new boobs. I really hope I luck out and they stick around, because that would definitely be a welcome change. Belly, go away (see you next time), Boobs, you stay!

My boss's wife threw me a little shower for our group, she made the most delicious chicken and dumplings for lunch. YUM. They gave me the breast pump I registered for (Medela PISA). Awkward..... Can you tell my boss wants me back? Apparently he told her that was embarrassing, but she was like, "Well she needs it and she registered for it!" She pulled me to the side and said I didn't have to open it in front of everyone, but all but one of my coworkers (and boss) have had kids in the past couple years (some are on pg #2) so they know about these. I also got our monitor, some bottles, some blankets, some clothes. All very cute stuff!!

My other shower is Saturday and I'm excited to see all my girlfriends who I don't see enough of!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Numbers Numbers Numbers

I had an ultrasound and doctor's appointment this morning. The best news is that her kidney looks great! There's no evidence of any dilation in her right kidney so seems like the doctor was right--she did outgrow it all on her own! All appears to be well.

She's measuring 5 lbs, 8 oz 33 weeks! The tech showed us on a graph, she's definitely above the average curve, but is still within normal range. I'm a little afraid of how big she may get. I'm only 5'2" so seems like she's taking after her 6'2" daddy. Eeek! We may have a volleyball player on our hands.

Here's a picture from today:

Isn't she chunky???? I've started calling her my chunky monkey. ::pats belly:: (I'm not sure she likes that.)

At my doctor appointment, I am measuring a week ahead of schedule....finally. I had been measuring "perfectly" on time until now. As she measured me, the PA said, "Hmmm, you're running out of room here aren't you?" Ummm yes....I don't know that I can make it another 7-9 weeks. 9 weeks because the conversation we had last appointment was that they would let me go two weeks past my due date if there wasn't any progress before they would induce. Today, she sounded open to the idea of inducing me before 42 weeks if my growth picks up, but I think we're hopeful that I've got some progress going by my 36 week appointment. She said that if someone has shown some progress at their 36 appointment, they will rarely make it to their due date. I sure hope she's right! I would love to meet this baby in 4-5 weeks!

My total weight gain stands at 24 pounds. I still only have 2 tiny stretch marks on my left boob. Absolutely none on my stomach, I got 2 compliments on how good my stomach looks this morning from the medical professionals. What can I say, I was blessed in that department at least. My mom never got any with me or with the quads...which sounded impressive. She said at 27 weeks, she was measuring as if she were 46 weeks.

Here I am at 33 weeks, 2 days.

Come on baby, start making plans to pack up and move out here soon!

Monday, February 8, 2010

Almost Done!!!!!!

Just need to get all the decor arranged and walls decorated, but basically the construction and painting is done. Well, with the exception of inside the closet.

Ultrasound and doctor appointment tomorrow. I'm curious to see how big we both have gotten!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Heartburn Sucks

Last night, I woke up with miserable heartburn and couldn't fall back asleep until I got my lazy bum out of bed and went in search of Tums. Almost immediate relief after I chowed a couple down. I have made the mental note to take the Tums to bed with me tonight.

Next Tuesday we have another ultrasound and a doctor appointment. Thursday we have a breastfeeding class and a "meet and greet" with pedi #2.

Here's this week's pic @ 32 weeks, 3 days.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Nursery Progress....Weekend #2

Here is how it looked Saturday, after most of it was primed.

Here is the construction zone formerly known as our upstairs. Embarrassing, but wanted to show the work being put into this room. is the beginning of the pink.

I hope she likes all the work her daddy is putting in this room. I also hope the pink doesn't give us all headaches. :-)

I cannot wait for this to be DONE!!!!

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

60 More Days!!!

Sixty more days and this little lady gets served an eviction notice if she isn't here yet. This is what 2 more months looks like on me.

I had my first experience with cankles last week. Thursday and Friday my feet and ankles swelled up big time - it looked like I had two sprained ankles. That was unpleasant, and from my perspective, crazy. Thankfully, I haven't had any major swelling this week. I got an empty Office Depot paper case and stuck it under my desk to use as a foot rest. I know that you should prop your feet up higher, but that's all we had around the office. I do think its helped as I've been able to use it more this week and haven't seen the swelling again. Hopefully it won't return.

We had our first childbirth class last Thursday. I am feeling a little better about the process. We watched a video about the basic stages of labor and I thought it was helpful to see what is in store--see what women go through, how they feel, etc. Justin wasn't too enthusiastic about it, but I thought the class certainly ended with a major WIN as a massage therapist came in to teach the men some massage techniques to help us relax. Tomorrow night is our second and last class. We're also taking a breastfeeding class on February 11.

This past weekend, I FINALLY decided what I wanted to do in the nursery. After perusing Roomzaar for hours on end, I decided I wanted paneling/molding or wainscotting. I thought that would decrease the obnoxiousness of having a bright pink nursery and make it look a little more grown up. Saturday and Sunday, Justin was in there sawing, nailing, caulking away. He complained a bit, even though he liked the idea, and I calmly told him that I'm carrying our little girl for 9 months, the LEAST he could do is spend a couple weekends slaving away to make her nursery fit for a little princess (even though I gagged at that "princess" phrase). We're doing paneling and picture frame molding on the bottom half of the room, which will be painted white. The top half and ceiling will be painted bright pink -- I still need to nail down a color. If it all looks as good in my head, I'm going to love it. I'd like to just wow you with the big reveal when its done, but you need something to compare it to. So here are some pictures of the current "construction zone". The paneling and molding is done, the room needs to be cleaned (of course) and primed and painted.

Here are pictures of "Weekend 1":

Please excuse Fudge's butt.

Now, I won't be able to do the tree decal I like, but I've found some branches with birds that will work. I'm very excited to get the furniture back in and start decorating and "nesting".

I super puffy heart Etsy right now. I could surf that site all day.

Monday, January 18, 2010

"Survivor's Guilt"

I have it.

I feel like I shouldn't ever complain about being pregnant. I am very sorry that I do. I waited 29 months to see those two pink lines and all the while, hated everyone who had gotten what I wanted and complained about it the whole time. I feel like a hypocrite when I complain and as we near the end, I do it a lot.

Before I got pregnant, it felt like a punch in the gut when someone would complain about being pregnant. I hated those who seemed to take this for granted, especially those who got pregnant way too easily.

I'm still bitter--its hard to get rid of or let go of. I used to have panic attacks just thinking about going into Babies R Us that I started having to order things online for people's showers as I drank a glass of wine and cried. There's still a breath I have to take before stepping into BRU. I almost forget for a second that there's a good reason I am going inside, that its for my baby, not someone else's for a change.

I wish I could make it happen for everyone still waiting and hoping. I really wish we could all go through this together. I wish we could all commiserate together about our aches and pains and weird stuff going on with our bodies. I wish infertility wasn't so unfair.

I try to be sensitive because I have been there. I know what its like, I know the frustrations and the tears, I know the feelings of hopelessness and anger. But I also slip up. Pregnancy isn't easy for me and I really hate that I don't just "enjoy" this more and want to be pregnant forever. I wanted this. I wanted this desperately. I didn't know it would be so hard, so uncomfortable. I'm not meant to be a breeder unfortunately.

I just want to apologize to all those out there who might read my blog from time to time and hate me for complaining.

Here's a more positive spin on my experience and things I love about being pregnant.

I love what its done to my hair and nails. They have never looked so fabulous. My hair has body it has never had before and my nails grow like crazy.

For some reason, I don't have to shave my legs as often. That has been nice!

I love watching my belly jiggle which it does more and more lately. It cracks me up every single time she rolls around and wiggles in there. I feel like Santa.

I love thinking about our outside baby, what she'll be like, what she'll look like, and how much we're going to love her, as well as how much we already do.

To those of you still in IF hell, I wish you nothing but good luck and I send big hugs from my side.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

29 Weeks

OMGosh. I feel like I am being stabbed in the ribs. Not with a foot, but with a knife. It stings so bad. I also can't breathe. I'm very uncomfortable and I really hate that I'm not enjoying this more.

Doc appointment on Friday. Signed up for a breastfeeding class today. Childbirth class next two Thursdays (after this one). Have to pick a pedi. Have to start the nursery. Have to fill out FMLA stuff. Feeling overwhelmed.

Here's today's belly pic.

And look from the front. My belly looks so weird! My belly button is all stretched out and gross looking.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

28 Weeks

My bedding came in!!!! I think I love it. It's bright, but that's what I wanted. Nothing else is new really....just trying to plan out the nursery.

I'm trying to decide on name decals for over her crib....I see something new I like every time.

Here are some of my favorites (all from Etsy):

I think the second one is my favorite, but I like the simple name in the third one.

Fun, fun!!

I think this is the tree decal I'm going with for one of the corners. If we go with the pink walls, which we probably will, I was going to put some green and aqua birds in the tree and possibly on a branch in another location to add some more color.

And the highlight of my blog (@ 28 weeks and 2 days)!

Monday, January 4, 2010

I Love Her

As uncomfortable as she makes me, I love her. I think more than she'll ever know or realize. We're so excited to meet her that we can't contain ourselves.

And that's all the mush you get for today folks. :)

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Happy New Year!!!!

The first redeeming quality of 2009 was that I got pregnant. The second redeeming quality of 2009 is that we both escaped with our jobs in tact. Otherwise, 2009 can suck it.

I feel much more excited about what 2010 holds in store for us, I just have a giddy, excited feeling. I'm sure much of it has to do with getting to meet this little lady currently playing trampoline on my bladder. I've never been so excited, except maybe when I went away to college. There's that same nervous excitement, mostly confident at tackling a new stage in life, yet still uncertain on if I/we're going to get through it unscathed.

I think we're going be ok....I'm looking at it as a new adventure.

The best news of the week is that my bedding shipped! After receiving an email from Target saying my bedding was delayed until at least January 29 earlier last week, Thursday I woke up to another email from Target saying they shipped the bedding! Confused? Me too, but I'll take it. Looks like we'll be able to at least paint the nursery this weekend and arrange the furniture so I can see where we can put some decals and get those ordered. After doing some "old school" photoshopping on a Target Baby Catalog, I think if this is the bedding I want to go with when it gets here, we're painting the room a bright pink. Will it be a lot of pink? Probably. But I think the white and green I'm throwing in with it will break it up a bit. Plus our furniture is a dark espresso and will add another element of color. So sue me on the pink overload. It might be my only chance to have a pink room and dammit, I'm taking advantage of it. When she's old enough to have an opinion on some "big girl" decor, she might want purple, green, teal, brown, who knows!

In other news, this rib pain is killing me. Do I really have 12 weeks to go? ::cries:: Sometimes its hard to breathe too. Having some crazy dreams too. Last night, I dreamt about breastfeeding. Apparently I produced Gatorade before my milk came in--just the lemon lime and orange flavors. I wonder what's in store tonight.....