Tough Time

We've been having a tough time with breastfeeding. It's not easy. It's not easy AND I'm making plenty of milk. That's not the trouble--the trouble is that I have a yeast infection and it feels like knives in my nipples. Pleasant huh?

I'm taking Diflucan to try and clear this up. Savannah has thrush and she's taking Nystatin. I also was potentially developing mastitis and they gave me antibiotics for that, plus a nipple cream. I'm washing my nipples in a vinegar mixture after breastfeeding. I'm sterilizing her paci and bottles nightly. I'm washing the bibs, burp cloths, my tanks and bras, the boppy cover, etc. in hot water nightly. I've been doing this for almost a WEEK now and don't feel like we've made much progress. I'm so frustrated. I can't freeze any of the milk I've been pumping and I can't bring myself to total up all that I've sent down the drain. It sucks. So much for building a good size freezer stash before I have to go back to work.

I feel like we're back to the first couple weeks. My nipples hurt all the time. She's fussy while nursing. I'm so frustrated and I think about quitting multiple times a day now. But I can't.... She needs this and she needs me to plow through it. She's growing like a weed, last week at six weeks she was 11 lbs, 13.5 oz. I try to remind myself that she's thriving being breastfed and that this is the best thing I can do for her. Selfish me wants my boobs back. I'm trying to take it one day at a time. When I feel like quitting, I commit to one more day and it gets me through to the next day.

One day at a time.....

Otherwise, I still love this little girl more than life itself. She's growing so fast and becoming more and more alert every day. I love watching her take in the world. I'm so lucky that she's mine.