Such a Slacker!

I'm sorry I've been such a slacker on the blog front. I will blame it on just being busy! For awhile there, my posts probably would have been fairly depressing and full of complaints about breastfeeding--the one part of being a mom that I was having the worst time with. I also was slightly hormonal and crazy for a few weeks there and totally felt like an inadequate mom. I wouldn't say it was depression, it was the fact that sheesh, I couldn't think right with all these hormones dumping out of my body. I cried no less than three times a day. 90% of the time though I was crying happy tears. I thank God multiple times a day for blessing us with this beautiful little girl that we waited for for way too long. She's perfect and actually a pretty easy baby and I would do everything all over again if I had to for her. Other times I'd cry because I didn't feel like a good mom and would feel guilty over all sorts of stupid things. It was hard....but I've been loving most every minute of it.

Savannah turned a month old yesterday and I can honestly say that just now, I'm finding my groove as a mom and she's learning more about me. We're clicking. She's getting on a schedule. I'm getting on a schedule. Breastfeeding is getting easier. I can't count the times I wanted to give up on it. It's painful, it's time-consuming, it's tough. But we're getting it. She's latching on better so its not so uncomfortable, I'm figuring out what works for the both of us. I knew it would be tough, but its a lot tougher than I thought it would be. If Justin had it his way, I'd exclusively pump. It's easier on me, it's more efficient, we can see how much she's eating, it would let him be more involved, etc. etc. I didn't want to exclusively pump, I wanted that mother-baby bonding experience you hear so much about. However, I'm still waiting on that. I guess I can't expect much from a 4-week old, she still nurses half-asleep or closes her eyes while she eats a lot. I'm so lucky to have the support of many of my friends from the Nest that have been along for the ride of dealing with infertility and then having their baby (or babies). They've been very sympathetic and encouraging and they've been right too - it's getting easier. You've just got to stick it out for six weeks or so. I wouldn't say that we've mastered breastfeeding yet, but its definitely gotten so much better than it was.

Otherwise, I love being a mom. I never thought I'd love the newborn stage so much, I've never been a "baby person", I was always looking forward to the toddler years, but I love her this small already. She's growing so fast though and I know there is so much to look forward too. I'm trying to enjoy this while I can and she makes it easy to enjoy since she's an easy baby. Maybe I just am so scarred from growing up with quads in the house, but one is so much easier than four. However, one is still time consuming. I don't know how my parents didn't end up committed in an asylum or something.

We had some rough nights with sleeping, but overall, it's going well too since the first week. She lets us sleep about 7+ hours most every night which I think is awesome for a newborn. I was expecting more like six max. Last night we got about 9 hours! ::knocks on wood:: I hope it continues. Now granted, we have to do about a million things to ensure that quality of sleep, but its worth it. She's in the pack-n-play down in our room. We have a sleep positioner (the "Supreme Snuggle Nest"), we swaddle her up tight, turn on the giraffe that has a heartbeat noise, turn on her night light (it's cute and looks like a puppy), make sure her binkie is nearby, and turn on the classical music on my iPhone. She's finally getting a hang of the routine and the past few nights has been closing her eyes as soon as we get all our lights turned off and all her things set up. Like, "Alright, I know the drill now, I'll try to go to sleep". We're lucky that she's a really good sleeper, once she gets to sleep. She would fight it for awhile. I'm sure we're up for more rough nights still, but I think they'll start to get more rare.

Long story short, we're doing great and loving every minute with her - even in the middle of the night when she's fussy.