Monday, December 28, 2009

Third Trimester....Whooooohoooo!!!

I didn't realize it had been so long since I updated on our progress. I knew I had been slacking, but didn't know how bad. I apologize!!!!! Please forgive me. I hope everyone had a very Merry Christmas!

We have officially made it to the third trimester and I am so excited that we made it to this milestone. If she had to come early, I'm feeling ok about it. Obviously, I hope she stays in there for the time being and we make it to 38-40 weeks until she gets her eviction notice. (Dear Baby Girl....I'm good with you arriving around March 15. You don't have to wait until March 28th.)

Let's see, what's last doctor appointment was almost two weeks ago by now, just after my last blog entry. Official weight gain at 25 W 3 D was 17 pounds. My biggest complaint is this pain in my left rib. I hate it. Doc says I'm pretty much S.O.L. until she comes. :-( There's nothing to do for it. She said that I can't take any muscle relaxers or use any of the sports cremes for muscle pain because they are aspirin based. It pretty much hurts when sitting. Walking or standing helps, but then I get tired of being on my feet. Sleeping is good too, but sometimes still uncomfortable. It gives me a good hour or so in the morning before the pain comes back.

Thankfully, I'm not having any swelling anywhere yet. Breathing is starting to get hard. There's just no room here already. Sleeping is hit or miss. I have good nights and bad--bad is where I have slight panic attacks in the middle of the night. The latest one was that she doesn't have enough clothes yet and what if she comes before my shower and we're not ready??? My mind starts racing and it makes me want to get out of bed and take some kind of action to make myself feel better. Usually though there's been nothing I can do at that very moment other than try to clear my head and fall back asleep.

We had a full 3d/4d ultrasound the Friday before Christmas. There was a place running a "Holiday Special" on one of their packages. We ended up sticking one of the pictures in a frame and giving to the grandparents as one of their presents. We managed to keep the u/s a secret so we could surprise them with the picture. I was a little disappointed as she wasn't very cooperative. She had been very active all morning and wouldn't you know, just as soon as I got there, she chilled out. She was breech and hanging out on the right side of my ute. I could tell that morning before I got there, my stomach was very lopsided and funny looking.

She did keep trying to show us her feet, showing Justin that she takes after me already--that she is ready for cute shoes. "Shoes in this size please guys. Thx." She also kept pointing to her ears. (Ummmm I wasn't planning on piercing those for you dear. Not for awhile. You'll have to wait on those diamonds. But hit daddy up for the both of us, will ya?)

Here's the photo we gave the grandparents:

Here are a couple more:

I actually had an ultrasound today to look at her kidney again. These pictures aren't as good and I'm too lazy to get them scanned in. She looked about the same, but sort of it was too early to be taking her photo? Anyway, the kidney was still a bit dilated, but they said the good news is that is isn't getting worse. So, next step is simply to come back in another six weeks to measure again. She was measuring 2 lbs, 7 oz....which is surprising to me. The tech said that was normal, to me that sounds big considering 7 weeks ago she was only 12 oz. But its good she's putting on weight and it's not just me.

And, what you've all been waiting! Haha.
(27 weeks, 1 day)
Clothes on:

My super sexy (not) maternity jeans:

And ba-boom...full nekkid belly:

I thankfully have the week off of work and would love to work on the nursery....however my freaking bedding isn't here yet. I give it until the end of January and then I'm going with plan B. I hopefully will be able to get the closet dividers and mobile made and I'll post pics once I've gotten them done or far enough.

Monday, December 14, 2009

Growing, growing, growing

Thankfully, I passed the 1 hour Glucose test. The orange drink wasn't that bad, but it wasn't that great either. My iron levels were low though, so I have to add an iron supplement to my rotation of daily pills and try to eat more spinach and red meat.

I feel enormous, but as of this morning I was down a pound for an unofficial total weight gain of 14 at 25 weeks, 1 day. I'm curious to see what the official number is on Wednesday at my appointment.

I have to post some pictures of some super cute stuff I got for the baby girl. Wait, I have to take them first......

Anyway, here's a picture from late last week at 24 weeks, 5 days.

Monday, November 30, 2009

23 Weeks

Warning: This is a whole bunch of randomness.

I think the mood swings have kicked in. I feel like I am I could cry at the drop of a hat. :( Not a fan.

I am also not a fan of this pain in my left ribcage. Doc thinks its a pulled muscle from my ribs stretching to accomdate the baby, but dear God, its killing me. It hurts more and more every day. It started only occuring at the end of a long day of sitting at my desk, but this morning it started hurting when I got in the car to go to work.

Other than those complaints, that's all I got. It was Thanksgiving last week and we certainly had a lot to be thankful for. We went down to Brownsville to spend the holiday with my family and we'll spend Christmas here in Austin with Justin's. My little sister, my mom, and my dad all got to feel the baby move and that was exciting for them. My dad is ready to be a grandpa, my mom is ready to be a grandma, except she doesn't want to be called grandma or grandmom or grammy or grandmother. ::eye roll:: Okay mom, you figure that one out. Needless to say, I probably packed on about 5 pounds that I didn't need to pack on between all the turkey and tacos I ate. Last week's appointment had me at +14!!!

Anyway, my little sister gave me her gently used Canon Powershot XS10 for my birthday and I was psyched. We had been talking about getting a newer nicer camera before the baby came and while its probably not the exact one I might have gone with, its a free awesome camera to learn on! She gave me a crash course on its operation while we were down. Now the pups get to be my subjects for the next few months. Muahahaha!

As far as any baby preparations have gone, I ordered some bedding to see if I like it. This is what I got - the Bananafish Lily collection.

I think I want to go with brighter colors for her room. I ordered two variations of the bumper, a sheet, and the crib skirt. I'll keep you posted!

Here's me tonight...large and in charge...ok so maybe not quite....but I feel it.

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Very Exciting Development!

Last night, I was sitting on the couch and felt some rumbles in my ute. Stronger than I've felt before. I lifted up my shirt to see if I could feel her from the outside, but before I could move my hand, a little area on right side of my stomach poked out!

"Oh my God!!" I exclaimed. Justin was in the kitchen and heard me laugh and squeal and thought something was wrong. "No!" I said, "She's moving big time!"

He finished up washing his dishes while I saw another jab in my stomach. He came over, got to see another one, and then placed his hands on my stomach to try to feel her. She stopped making such big movements. :-(

"I'm not crazy, you saw that too, right?!?!" He said he saw it, so I'm not completely crazy.

She's been really active today now and I was able to feel a kick down low from the outside. It's crazy how I went from feeling little flutters or rumbles to feeling full fledged movement AND seeing it from the outside. It's so exciting and strange, I love it. I've waited for what feels like forever to feel this.

On another note, I'm seeing numbers on the scale I've never seen before. I officially crossed over 140 for a total weight gain at 21 weeks of 10 pounds. And it's only just begun huh? ::side eyes scale:: Slow down there scale.

Here's my latest picture, 21 weeks, 3 days.

Tomorrow night, I get to evoke the fifteen year old girl that resides inside of me at the midnight premiere of New Moon. Hopefully I can stay awake!!

Great Deal!

Sunday, we went to wander around and look at baby stuff. We ended up at Buy Buy Baby where we found the glider (by Best) I've been drooling over on sale. It was slightly damaged in shipping, but nothing that a furniture pen couldn't cover up. I don't blame the people for returning it, I would too if we paid full price for it. But their return was our gain! It was about $120 off, plus they let us use our 20% coupon on it...for a savings of almost $200, making the cost a whole lot more reasonable.

It looks a little green in the picture, but the upholstery is a light chocolate brown.

We are now trying to agree on bedding. I'm trying to go with a pink/green color combo with birds and trees either on the bedding or on the wall. Justin wants to go pretty girly, but to me, some of it is just "too much". Decisions, decisions!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

It's a..................


We were right all along and my stupid recent dream meant nothing except to throw me for a loop. Justin never wavered.

Everything looked good, she's already after her daddy's heart by weighing a "perfect" 12 oz....daddy's favorite measurement as he so proudly proclaimed in the room when the tech said that. (Be jealous, he's alllll mine.)

I'm going to try to explain this clearly, I forget some of the terms they used, but the short answer is that I/we shouldn't worry too much about it. The one "concern" they have is that her right kidney appears to be a little more dilated than the other, so if she's working on kidney issues, she's taking after me. :-( They weren't too concerned, the range for a minor concern they said was this certain measurement being between 5 and 10 and hers was 6. Usually it clears up before the baby is born, but they like to keep an eye on it in the event they need to notify the pedi.

He said at the worst case, it will clear up by the time she's two and may have to be on some antibiotics after she's born to avoid any UTIs. That is more rare though. But....he said this is very common, he sees this about once a week and usually will clear up before she gets here. The bright side is that I have another u/s in 7 weeks--just after Christmas to see if anything has changed. We'll get to get another peek at her.

So I'm going to take his word for it and try not to worry. It's a relief to just know what we've got going on in there and very exciting to finally say one way or the other!

We went to Babies R Us to look at girl stuff (since we can now!) and I found some cuuuute outfits. I'm loving Carter's these days, they have a bunch of panda stuff!!! I'll have to post pics later of some of the cute stuff I snagged.

We also went out to dinner to celebrate--which we would have done either way. Justin is "over the moon" excited and thrilled to have a little girl on the way. He confessed (at least this is what he says) that a girl was what he wanted all along. I could have cared less, really, a healthy baby is all I asked for. I'm just happy he's happy. I might have to complain about him one of these days, but the past few weeks he has been wonderful. The first few weeks were rough when I was tired all the time without any "proof", but now that its becoming more real for him and he's seeing the evidence, he's heard the heartbeat, he's seen the baby a few times--he's been wonderful. 99% of the time, he's been so considerate the past few weeks and I am certainly enjoying this Justin.

Anyway, hooray for little girls!!! Now to decorate the nursery and decide on a name!

I'm disappointed we didn't get very good pics this time, except a couple 4Ds of her face. Here she is!

Friday, November 6, 2009

Two Things...One Funny...One Not So Much

1) I received one of those automated calls from my OB's office last night, reminding me about my ultrasound on Monday.

I had to laugh--this is the moment we've been waiting for!!!! How in the world are we going to forget about this?!?!?! :-) It's been on my calendar for a month. No worries message robot...we'll be there.

2) It appears like my belly button is starting to pop out. I didn't think I had a popper. My belly button, she's always been good to me. She's the one part of my body that I never had any complaints about. Cute, clean, nice to look at. That was her. Now, it appears we may have to deal with an outtie for awhile. I've had an innie for 30 years. I don't know how to deal. I hope its not permanent. Sad. Tragic. Goodbye cute tiny little inside belly button.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

19 weeks

Almost halfway there and six more days until our BIG ultrasound!

Consider these the "Before" Photos

Here is how the nursery its "Before" state. The art on the walls is what was in there when it was a guest bedroom. Justin was very excited to get everything arranged, but now it sits empty and undecorated.

I discovered the room is difficult to take photos of. I hope I can get some good ones once we get it all decorated (in pink or blue of course)! As far as furniture goes, we still need to get the hutch, the nightstand, and our glider/recliner.

So far, this is the bedding I like for a girl--Love Bird by Bananafish.

If we go this route, we'll probably put a giant tree decal in the room. I don't know what we'd do for a boy yet, nothing jumps out at me. I've always wanted to do a puppy theme since I love dogs so much and they are a big part of our lives, but our friends who had a baby a couple months ago did the puppy thing already. I don't want to look like I stole their ideas or anything.

If its a boy, I have to keep looking and try to decide on something so I can get Justin his "assignments" to complete over the holidays. :-)

18 Weeks

Had my 18 week appointment last Thursday and all was well. My bladder is acting up, which is unpleasant, its giving me the symptoms of an infection. I'm pretty sure that any spotting I was seeing was coming from my bladder....pretty awesome right?

My urine test came back negative but the doc thought it might be a good idea to give me a round of antibiotics to kill any bacteria. Apparently the Macrodantin that I'm on does a good job of keeping bacteria at a low level, but there must be enough in there to cause problems for me now.

I asked Justin to come to the appointment so he could feel a bit more involved and I think it was good for him. He hadn't heard the baby's heartbeat yet, so he got to hear it for the first time. It was loud and clear at 155 bpm.

He was also introduced to the little thing all us women are very familiar with - the dreaded speculum. Doc wanted to do an internal exam to see if it was my cervix that was causing any bleeding, but all looked well in there. My cervix is nice and firm and very closed, so I need to stop freaking out about the spotting. There wasn't any evidence of any blood coming from my cervix nor any in my vagina. I had seen it that morning, but it must have been my stupid bladder.

Anyway, he was a little uncomfortable. Luckily I had him rearrange the office before the doctor came in and made him move the chair up by my head. Look at me, thinking ahead and all. :-)

So other than my bladder, all appears to be going well.

Here are pictures from last week:

In addition, remember how I was convinced that it was a girl? I had a dream over the weekend where we were in the ultrasound room for the big ultrasound and we saw it was a boy, loud and clear. The tech hadn't even gotten to the gender determination yet, but we were flashed and it was completely obvious. It was a very vivid dream too, so now I'm wavering big time. I wonder if it meant had to, right? :-) Justin's still pretty certain its a girl. We'll find out soon!

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

17 weeks

18 more days until the big ultrasound!!!! Can you tell I'm excited?!?

I don't have a lot to say.....trying to stave off a bladder infection (again), and having food aversions now. Nothing sounds good, nothing tastes good.... ::sigh:: Wait, the only thing that sounds good ever are waffle fries/french fries. I'm not a huge french fry eater, but geez, I could seriously eat them all day now.

I went shopping over the weekend and stocked up on some clothes. The only problem is that I am having a hard time with shirts. I don't like the "traditional" maternity shirts, with the tie or the empire waist. I'm too short to look good in them, I think they make me look fat and like I'm trying too hard (to look pregnant). I also don't like the side ruching shirts. I like plain maternity shirts that look like normal shirts. I'm trying to maximize the trend of loose, flowy, drapey shirts and keep wearing regular shirts for awhile. I'm sure there might be a time when I don't have that option, but I hope that comes much, much later. Anyway, I got some things at Gap that I'm really excited to wear, I love the fact that they seem to be the only place I can find button down shirts for work that are normal looking!

I'm feeling quite large already. I'm sure I don't look *that* big, but so far, I'm feeling big. It's also getting uncomfortable...I think my organs are all being shoved around. Somedays I feel like my stomach is going to rip open Alien style.

(The shark tat wanted to make an has been neglected lately.)

Sunday, October 4, 2009


I'm just going to throw this out there. I am a genius and I know my husband all too well. ::grins::

Let me rewind. Last week, I asked Justin when he wanted to start working on the nursery and getting some ideas, maybe pricing some furniture. He said, "In a few months." I was a little miffed, so I brought up the fact that furniture could take a few months to come in--depending on what we pick out and from where. He grumbled and agreed to go look at some things on Sunday.

We went to Babies R Us (aka BRU) and Buy Buy Baby to look at some furniture and play with some of the carseats/travel systems to start to figure out what we like. He got a little more enthusiastic which was cute, but as I predicted, sticker shock sort of killed him. I was banking on using the desensitization method with him on the price of some of these items. I knew he was completely clueless as to how much some of this costs, so I thought it really would be better to get the shock over with now, versus 3 months from now when we (or really, HE) was ready to order or purchase some of this stuff. ::rubs hands together:: It was a genius idea I tell you. Pure genius. Because.........

This past Friday, on his own accord, he started browsing Craigslist for some baby things, being the cheapskate frugal person that he is. He found a PBK crib for uber-cheap (too cheap IMO) and made arrangements to go look at it that night. I was on my way home since I had got off work early and he asked if I wanted to meet up with him to look at baby stuff. Sure!!! He wanted to go see if the PBK store had this particular crib. They didn't, BUT, they did have my dream crib - the Larkin model that I've been drooling over for um, I think years now. Justin loved it. Unfortunately, he didn't love the $1,200 price tag...which I'm not a fan of either. I suggested we go to another baby store to look at some more furniture. That place was nice, a little expensive as well, and the stuff that was on sale didn't get great reviews in Baby Bargains. So we went over to BRU and then over to Buy Buy Baby.....where we purchased a nursery set.

I didn't even poke and prod. He got super excited about this one set and I thought it was nice as well. I liked another line a little bit more, but this one was probably a close second anyway, and if he is excited about it and loves it, I won't put up a fight. I know when to pick and choose my battles. I wasn't aware that he was quite ready to buy, but he sat down and signed on the dotted line and we walked out of there as new owners of a set of nursery furniture! We went with the Bonavita Peyton line. Bonavita gets an "A-" in Baby Bargains and they seem to be stingy with their A's. I love the color (Espresso) and the style is nice and simple. We bought the crib, the combo (low dresser to be used as changing table), hutch for the combo, the 5-drawer dresser, and the nightstand. Whew! Oh and we got a crib mattress. :-)

Here's a picture of basically most of what we got:

We just need to find a glider/recliner now and we'll have all the furniture already. I have a feeling the nursery might end up being my favorite room in the house. Justin's so excited about putting the crib together and he's gotten all gung ho all of a sudden about getting ready for the baby. We still have almost six months! But I'm not going to complain because I'd rather have him this way than procrastinating.

Cute thing he said today: "If the baby is a girl, we should put up one of those princess chandeliers in there." Now I don't know what he's picturing, it might be a little gawdy for me as I wasn't planning on it, but I thought that was sweet that he's thinking about decor...and the fact that if its a girl, he's planning on treating her like a princess. I just said, "We'll have to see if it fits in with whatever we end up doing."

On the actual baby front, I had an appointment this past Thursday. The heartbeat had slowed down to 160 bpm, so not much but slightly. I got my flu shot. Best news is that we scheduled the "big" anatomy ultrasound for......November 9th at 3 pm! Very exciting but time is crawling. I hadn't gained any weight since my last appointment, which seemed odd considering my food selection lately. The doc said, "You know, you can indulge a bit if you want." I said, "I have been!!!" She laughed. I'm not living on salads and crackers or anything like that.

Here's a pic from today, 15 weeks!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

NT Scan

Our NT Scan/1st Trimester Scan was last Thursday and it went great!

However, I think we already have a stubborn uncooperative child. I say that which much love though. :-) It will be entertaining!

Ultrasound went well, but the baby wouldn't get in the right position to get the measurement they needed for a good 40 minutes. They needed to measure a particular area on the back of the neck to measure the fluid there. It gave us more time to watch it wiggle around in there so that was fine. We got a wave as you'll see in the pictures. I think it was saying, "Hey guys looook at meeeee!"

Finally the tech had to bring the doctor in and he was able to get a measurement and it looked very good, just what they want to see. Best news is that the baby appears to be healthy and normal and growing. Yay!!!

The tech thinks its a girl, only because in her experience, the uncooperative ones usually turn out to be. I think its a girl because it seemed to be practicing ballet in there, it would jump up and do a little turn. Don't know where the dancing came from, mama has two left feet in that arena.

Anyway, I got the results yesterday and it came back negative, meaning we don't have an increased risk for Down's Syndrome or Trisomy 18 (I think that was what they tested). Sometimes they give you a number, but I didn't ask for any the specifics. No need to stress or overanalyze these results.

Anyway, my next appointment is on October 1, but its just a "normal" appointment. With these bladder infections, I've been bugging them so I've made it a goal to not have to call or go in until then. I guess we'll talk about getting the "big" ultrasound scheduled and I am VERY excited for that. We'll see how good my gut instinct really is....and if we'll have to scramble for a boy's name.

Either way, I'm just thrilled to be pregnant. There was a time there that I really doubted that I'd get to experience any of this....even if after I had the surgery that was going to supposedly fix everything. I also think this last time made it become a lot more real for Justin. He's been over the moon and so sweet and so excited about the baby ever since the scan. I think that because it "finally" looked like a real baby that cemented it for him.

Here are some pics of our little guy or girl!

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

12 Weeks, 2 Days

Nothing new to report, other than I think today, I am finally feeling better.

I went back to the doctor yesterday because I still had a fever and had a lot of back pain, plus my bladder STILL felt the size of an acorn. They didn't do anything other than insist the meds should work and told me to take the rest of the day off yesterday and take today off to lie around and drown myself drinking water. Oh and to call my urologist to "log" this one in my records with him (that I had 2 bladder infections in 3 weeks in the first trimester) and make sure he agrees with the treatment plan.

So, I have done as instructed. :-) It's been nice.

And, I am feeling better. Haven't had any "out of the ordinary" back pain and I've drank a lot of water.

Here's a belly pic from today:

NT Scan is Thursday morning and I have an appointment with my urologist Friday morning. Should be uneventful since I'm feeling better, but I'm following directions.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

I hate my bladder

So this past Thursday morning, I woke up at about 2 am in excrutiating pain. All too familiar pain too, just like a UTI or bladder infection. I didn't get much sleep the rest of the morning, plus there was bright red blood when I wiped. I was freaking out.

Called the dr as soon as they opened, they had me come in first thing. Turns out, I have ANOTHER bladder infection. They pulled out the doppler and found the baby's hb right away, at 170 bpm just like the previous week. NP took a look up in there and there was no blood in my vag, nor any around my cervix and she poked and prodded it and nothing happened that wasn't supposed to. She thinks the blood was coming from my bladder.

Anyway, I took the rest of the day off to recoup some sleep time and to settle down since I was almost in tears in the morning. I have meds to clear up this second infection (in three weeks mind you) and am now placed on preventative (hopefully they work, fingers crossed!) meds for the duration of my pregnancy to try and not get any more.

It's weird, that I was fine for a few weeks and then BAM. They suspect its because of the way the ute is growing, that my bladder must be in a different spot and its hard to empty it in that position. I hope that it all gets rearranged to where it needs to be and that the meds work and I don't have to put up with this anymore. Can you believe it, I am pregnant, but I can still blame my ute for causing some problems. I'd say this is a good problem.....but....its a little tough to put this in the good category since its not very pleasant.

Anyway, in other "news", as of Thursday's doctor appointment I'm up 4 pounds. I'm dealing with headaches Our NT Scan is the 17th and I'm excited as to have another peek at the baby. I hope everything comes out fine, I'm not really worried, but I'm sure there's always a possibility. Current craving for the week is french fries. I don't really like french fries but they sound amazing. Any kind of french fries. I'm getting so close to being out of the first trimester, I'm really excited. I'm hoping the second trimester is as good as everyone says it is, considering that there is another human growing inside. This going to bed at 8-9 pm is really getting old. Poor Justin has been so bored.

I leave you with a belly pic from earlier this past week at 11 weeks, 2 days. I'm convinced already I'm going to be huge.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Maternity Pants!!

Well, normal pants got very uncomfortable for me last week. Sunday, we went shopping and got me some maternity pants and I think I might have found not only maternity pants, but pants I might just wear permanently. Hello no button and no zipper, I love you so!

These work pants I got feel like I'm wearing pajama pants that just happen to look like dress/work pants. I'm so in love.

Unfortunately, I dropped $550 and felt like I didn't get very much. I think its Old from here on out. We only have 2 stores in the Austin area that carry the maternity line and the one I went to on Sunday was just garbage. Two racks basically. Not a big selection. I got 2 pairs of work pants (that I think are very nice and I really like them), a skirt for work, a really cute brown sweater dress (if fall ever comes here), a pair of Buffalo jeans, and 3 shirts. I think that's it. I've got some loose baggy fit shirts that should work for a while, but the way my midsection is expanding, I don't know how long I've got!

I did try on a huge "realistic" (as the sales lady said) bump that is what I might look like at 8-9 months and both Justin and I cringed. It was scary. I'm so short, it looked really awful. I hope it doesn't turn out like that.

I do miss my flat belly already. I feel like because this was sort of unexpected (yes, even though we were "ttc", I didn't think it would happen on its own), I didn't get to say goodbye. I was bloated when I got the BFP. Here's a pic from today, 10 weeks, 2 days.

I'm getting more comfortable with being pregnant and trying to worry less. I'm feeling a lot better than I was last week, thankfully. I'm just so ready to have this baby already. We went to visit our friend's newborn baby on Sunday and I didn't want to put him down. I'm more than ready for our very own little one. I think it made me more excited and if I already wanted to fast forward to March, its so much stronger now. I'm attempting to try to keep myself busy with worrying about other baby-related things--but good worrying--like thinking of names, looking at nursery pictures online, thinking about parenting scenarios, thinking of how to prepare the pups. I'm trying to enjoy this in-between time.

I have an appointment on Thursday, I'm not sure why, I guess its useful now as they need to see if my bladder infection has cleared up. I don't know if they're going to try to hear the heartbeat, my uterus is tilted backwards so everyone's been telling me to NOT expect to hear it early. I'm preparing myself to not be able to hear it yet, no need to stress more. It would be a pleasant surprise if we can though!

Friday, August 28, 2009


I thought I'd take this opportunity of getting off work a little early to explain the panda in my sig on the Nest/Bump.

This little guy is Xi Lan. He lives at the Atlanta Zoo. We went to visit him in June.

He was about 10 months old at the time and look at him!!! So freakin' adorable. I was standing in the little viewing area snapping photos while one of the zoo volunteers was spouting information off about Giant Pandas. The thing that jumped out at me (and hit home) was that pandas can only get pregnant once a year and they have about a two day window to do so. ONCE A YEAR. Are you kidding me? That's worse than human wonder these cuties are majorly endangered. The good news is that it does happen for them. Little Xi Lan up there is proof, as is his older sister. (There also was a new panda born recently at the San Diego Zoo.)

I put him in my siggy, 1) because he is adorable and 2) that if pandas somehow manage to get knocked up with seemingly worse chances, dammit, so can us infertiles. He went up the week we got back from Atlanta, which was the week that the miracle cycle started. Call it coincidence, but I think he's my lucky charm.

I have a newfound respect and love for pandas! Giraffes and sharks used to have my heart, but pandas are right up there now. You might even see me with a new panda tattoo in a couple years. ;-)

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

9 Weeks and 2 Days

Sorry for slacking on the updates. I think I've hit the "feel like crap" stage of pregnancy. Overall, everything is fine and believe me, I am more than grateful to have symptoms.

I had some spotting on the 14th that really scared me. It was bright red drops when I would wipe, but luckily it seemed to end as quickly as it began. They still put me on pelvic rest for the weekend and had me come in first thing on Monday. I saw the nurse practioner, she took a look inside, and proclaimed that everything appeared to be fine and my cervix was closed as it should be. I've been spotting off and on since, but its been mere specks...nothing heavier or as bad as it was the first time I saw it. I've been trying not to stress about it, but regardless, I don't like to see it.

I had my first "official" OB appointment on Thursday, it was uneventful. They drew some blood, did another pee test (which was still positive) and ordered another ultrasound for the following day because of the spotting.

Here's a belly pic from last Thursday, 8 weeks and 4 days.

I think the nausea really kicked in last week. Most mornings I can't stand to drink water...usually not until 2 pm does it sound even remotely appealing. I think the nurse on Monday jinxed me because she asked about the nausea, which wasn't bad, and said, "Oh well if you haven't had much by now, you probably won't have much more!" Yeah. If that's not a jinx I don't know what is.

Anyway, the ultrasound Friday went wonderfully, we could see SOMETHING in there, something more than a blob!!! The baby's heartbeat was up to 180 bpm, a little over a week after it was at 153 bpm last ultrasound. And it's still growing! Here's some pictures:

Well, that's all I have energy to post today. I have my next appointment next Thursday (3rd) and I think I'm coming out to work next week! EEEEKKK!! :-)

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Saw the Heartbeat!!!!

I had another ultrasound today as the doc wanted me to come back so they could better date the pregnancy. I saw the sac on the screen as soon as they reached it, it had definitely gotten bigger. We got to see a little flicker on screen and it was the most incredible thing. I could have watched it all day. It was measuring 153 bpm, which they said was about average for how far along I am.

I was measuring right at 7 weeks, 3 days, as previously thought based on my LMP, not a week behind anymore, which is great! I can be out of 1st Tri faster!

Not the greatest pic ever, but on-screen I could see it very clearly.

I've discovered that brushing my teeth is a bit of a challenge. I dry heaved over the sink the other morning, which was unpleasant. I've tried to be very careful since then about my technique and that seems to have helped. I'm varying degrees of nauseous in the mornings, I haven't thrown up yet though. It seems that when I get over the nausea hump, I seem to be incredibly hungry for just about anything and everything. Everything sounds delicious! It's created a bit of a dilemma trying to decide where to go for lunch. I'm worried I'm going to be that girl that gains 100 pounds. I'm already a little afraid to step on a scale. The good news is that I don't have a sweet tooth, so I'm not filling up on junk. My real craving lately has been a sausage, egg, and cheese McMuffin, which I haven't indulged yet, but by God I could have one now.

My biggest problem is just fatigue. I'm worn out from Roatan last week and we have company coming this weekend. I need to try to pick up the house, but I can't get off the couch tonight. I feel so lazy, but seriously, I can't function after I leave work.

I will leave you with a current belly pic. I am so bloated I have few pants that fit right now.

Happiness is the feeling you're feeling when you want to keep feeling it. ~Author Unknown

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Ultrasound Results

Yesterday, I had my very first pregnancy ultrasound! There is a sac in the uterus, not in my tube!! I was beyond thrilled. My beta level rose to 7930 as well.

I was a little nervous when they didn't use the vag cam, but I guess we were just looking for a sac and weren't trying to date anything or see a heartbeat, they felt that the "normal" gizmo would work. I was surprised that it did, but the tech spotted the sac right away, right where it should be.

The one unsettling thing is that the sac was only measuring 4 and a half weeks. Based on my LMP, I thought I was more close to 5 and a half weeks. So great, they think I'm due a week later than what I thought, so maybe another week of 1st Tri! I guess I shouldn't worry about it if my levels are rising normally. At least, I try not to. I hope that maybe its just so small and they didn't get a good enough reading because they didn't use the vag cam. The ultrasound doctor wants to see me back August 12 to try to date the pregnancy then. It's a little frustrating to not have a due date, but I just hope the little one is growing and growing as well as can be expected. I don't think its possible that I didn't ovulate until the 10-15th, I just don't.

They want me to have another beta in the morning before we leave for Roatan on Sunday just for added reassurance. I've been a little nervous about the trip, but now that I know I shouldn't have a bursting tube, I've been feeling a lot better. I'm also nervous that because they wanted another beta, that they feel something might be wrong and aren't telling me. I would hope they'd prepare me for the worst. I've never known anyone to get four betas before. Maybe they are just taking me seriously like I wanted them to when I first called about the BFP.

I feel like time is crawling. I'm trying not to be stressed and trying to think very positive thoughts. I just want to be sure that this is going to be our miracle that we've waited for--I never imagined it would be so nervewracking. My symptoms seem to come and go. I get nauseous from time to time, things don't taste like I think they should, but no real morning sickness or food aversions yet. My boobs are extremely sore and I still have heartburn, so I'm going to celebrate that things still seem fine. :-) And the peeing! It's like my bladder shrank in the past week. It's possibly because that I'm so thirsty I'm drinking so much water, but man, that came on immediately.

I don't care. I'll take it. I am pregnant until someone tells me otherwise, but I hope this little baby is nice and comfy in there. So far, so good!

(Gosh it seems so surreal to say. I don't know that its sunk in yet. It's starting to, but still sounds crazy.)

There is no medicine like hope, no incentive so great, and no tonic so powerful as expectation of something better tomorrow.-- Orison Marden.

Monday, July 27, 2009

5 Weeks

So far (knock on wood), I feel pretty good. I had a spell of nausea this morning, but it went away after lunch. The worst thing today was the bloating. I didn't feel this "chubby" on Saturday, but man did it come in today. I've been battling headaches most of all. It's probably from caffiene withdrawals. They aren't bad and since I can still function, I don't really want to take anything. I can tough it out. And yes, I know a little caffiene here and there is ok. I allow myself one soda a day. I'm not a coffee drinker, so Coke/Pepsi are my vices. This morning, I didn't finish the can as I was nauseous and it wasn't sitting right.

The cramping is going away, I hope that's just normal and maybe the ute made enough room for now. I'm so scarred from this whole infertile experience that I want every symptom possible, but then I wonder if every twinge or borderline pain is normal. Thankfully the sharp pains do come and go and really are few and far between. I try to tell myself the nausea is a good sign; that this is "real", but it still worried me a bit because that's what I feel on CD1 usually....when I'm definitely NOT pregnant. I just want to be out of the 1st Trimester and I just want to know that everything is progressing normally and as well as can be expected with the baby. This is scary stuff.

Wednesday can't come soon enough. I really hope we can see the sac and give me peace of mind before we go to Roatan that its in the right spot. Justin and I have both had dreams that we can clearly see a sac in the uterus, so I really hope our inclinations are right.

Anyway, 90% of our family and friends already know. Justin's so excited that he can't contain himself. I don't blame him, we've waited 2 years for this, it's hard not to scream it from the rooftops. I'm much more cautious though and I hate that I probably come across to some people as not very excited. I'm just praying that you knowing doesn't jinx anything. Everyone has been thrilled and acted so happy and so supportive, it makes me feel so grateful for them and on the other hand feel so bad and guilty that because of my sadness, I probably was pretty distant at times. Everyone wants updates and promises to pray for good outcomes and hey, the extra prayers never hurt anyone, right? Besides, I'm sure people would find out next week while in Roatan as it would hard to hide it for a week. I know I'd be hit from every angle. "Jen, why aren't you going scuba diving? You were so excited about it last week." "Jen, don't you want a pina colada?" "Jen, don't you want some rum?" Yeah. It would be tough to cover up. Anyway, I hope that the only news we give people is more great news from here on out!

Here's a shot from today. Like I said, I wasn't bloated like this a couple days ago! It's crazy how things change already.

Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open. ~John Barrymore

Friday, July 24, 2009

I might just believe in miracles!

Well, as most of you probably know.....I saw this on Tuesday night. CD 30 of Cycle #29.

I was floored. I dipped the test in the cup, washed my hands, went to the bedroom to grab my phone and note the time. I was going to wait the full 3 minutes as the directions state, but I thought I'd see yet another plain old single line on the test so I figured a peek wouldn't hurt.

I peeked....and there were two lines there right away...and a very dark test line. I started shaking and couldn't breathe so I had to sit down. I called Justin because he was conveniently in Houston to let him know.

Me: "Holy sh!t....there are two lines."

Him: "Is that good?"

Me: ::face palm:: "Yes it's good. I'm pregnant."

Him: "OMG that's amazing!!"

I don't remember the rest of the conversation. I was so shaken a good way of course.

Let's back up a bit now. Last week, I thought was like any other PMS-y week. I was tired, grumpy, crampy, and had started spotting as usual. I spotted a bit on Wednesday and a bit on Thursday, but then it stopped and completely went away. I noticed that was odd. I expected AF to arrive on Saturday since my last couple cycles had been 26 days...that would have been CD26. Well, Saturday came and went with only cramps, nothing else. Odd. Usually cramping is accompanied by spotting for me....but I've so given up on the whole TTC thing that I didn't even consider the alternative. I just assumed AF was just messing with me at a nice convenient time, especially since we were leaving for Roatan in two weeks and I wanted her out before Justin's birthday this Friday. Sunday....nothing. Monday....nothing. I joked with Justin that maybe I was pregnant. Tuesday....I felt like AF was arriving at any second all day. I kept going to the bathroom....nothing. I thought it wouldn't hurt to pick up a test....Justin was asking me to anyway. He was a POAS pusher all evening via text...I kept putting it off because I figured it would just be negative, again.

Well, it wasn't. I never in a million years imagined this would happen without any help. Of course, I'm freaked out that its made itself cozy up in my good tube. If what the RE was saying is true, I can't believe it might be in the right spot. It will be a miracle if it is, but I already think that its a miracle there's something going on in my ute after 29 cycles.

I went for b/w Wednesday morning, my progesterone was 30 (which they said was super) and my beta was 543. I broached the ectopic subject with the nurse I spoke to and she blew me off a bit, which I didn't appreciate.

Yesterday I made the mistake of googling ectopic pregnancies and that was a really bad idea. I ended up freaking myself out. Two of the four major risk factors are endometriosis and tubal issues (blocked, damaged, misshapen, etc.) They did say that a pretty telling sign would be the beta not doubling, and the progesterone would be a lot lower. I think only 13% of pregnancies with a progesterone level of over 25 turn out to be ectopic. So there are good things going for me, but some bad things too.

We've had a vacation planned to Roatan for months now and there is not an emergency room on the island. I don't need my good tube to burst while I'm there. This wasn't the best time for me to get knocked up, but I don't even care. I'll take it.

Today, I went in for my second beta and turns out it didn't double, it tripled in 48 hours! It was 1699. Even I was impressed. I was just shooting for 1000. That makes me feel a lot better with the strong showing of the levels and can breathe a little bit more. The nurse I spoke to today was fabulous and was concerned about my concerns so she got me another beta for next Wednesday and got me in for an early ultrasound to try to rule out an e/p. If I can clear this massive hurdle, I swear I will settle down and breathe and try to enjoy this.

I couldn't even tell you when I ovulated, that's how much I had given up. Usually I've at least been monitoring my CM to get a general idea of when I O'd. I thought I ovulated prior to 4th of July weekend, however it could have been after. I definitely couldn't tell you when we conceived either! Not a clue.

I hate to beg, but please keep me in your thoughts and prayers that the little one is in the right spot. I desperately want this so bad, I don't know when we might get another chance.

Hope is that thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops... at all. ~Emily Dickinson

Thursday, April 30, 2009

I am in Infertile Hell

I can't take it anymore.

I'm about to start to hyperventilate...which is demonstrative of how bad I can't take it anymore. Or seriously about to just up and leave work.

2 of my coworker's wives are/were pg. Baby #1 was born 4 weeks ago tomorrow (I won the baby pool we had here), baby #2 is coming any day now. Hopefully next Thursday, but that's beside the point. (Although, how ironic would it be for the infertile to win both baby pools?)

Well, said coworker's know about 11 other people that were due right around now and I sit outside one of their offices (down the hall from the other, which is just like sitting right outside because he's loud) and hear all the baby conversations. Its not only chatting with their new parent/about-to-be-new parent buddies, but coworker #1 talks about the baby and coworker #2 talks about the baby they are about to have to our business associates too. Out of all these baby conversations, I've heard them mention IF treatments very vaguely in reference to only one couple out of the bazillion others. I can tell they obviously don't know much about IF and it takes every bone in my body to not open my mouth and correct them.

I must hear about 5-6 HOURS worth of baby conversations in a given day lately--between people here in the office and them talking to other people on the phone. Today, both cw AND his wife sent me baby pictures.

I feel like I've really been such a trooper about the whole ordeal the past couple months but with the excitement a new baby AND a labor watch going this week, I really can't handle it. If this doesn't die down soon, I'm going to need to be committed...straightjacket and all. My method of coping has been to pretend to just not be interested in babies, which has of course has me coming across as a bit of a baby-hater. If they only knew that the real reason is I'm uninterested is because that its KILLING me. I'm seriously on the verge of tears typing this.

I need some distractions to keep me busy until August. I also think I need to somehow devise a way to work from home until then. :-(

I feel like one of those people who is so miserable that they can't be around normal people, like I'll infect the happy people . -Grey's Anatomy

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

We have a plan!

First of all, I wish this blog was more exciting. I wish I could entertain the 4 or 5 of you that might actually read this with belly pics or ultrasound photos or pictures of the nursery. Sorry!

Alright, the plan that Justin and I agreed upon.....

We're going to Roatan the first week of April. As soon as we get back (and as soon as we can get it scheduled), I'll have a lap to fix my tube. We will do ONE "Hail Mary" cycle, unless the RE is convinced he did the trick. Then we are moving on to whatever Dr. V thinks can work, short of IVF for now.

Hey, at least its a plan right?

After some arguing and some pondering, that is what we agreed upon. This way, I should be able to scuba dive in Roatan, which long story, is the only reason I care to go at this point. I'm so excited to finally have a opportunity to move forward. It looks like Justin and I will both keep our jobs and make it through this shitstorm that is the economy. ::knocks on wood:: I now need to be distracted for the next 4 months.

I've been training for a 5K, so I have something to work towards and to focus on, rather than my misery. I don't have one in mind, but I figure I'll get comfortable with the distance and when one comes up, I'll sign up. :-)
My quote for this entry is a little random, but the reason it came to mind is because I actually have this old school song on my "Workout" playlist. I downloaded a lot of '90s rap to run to because it gets me going. It brings back memories of working out in high school, back when I could actually kick some ass, and brings back just happy memories...when things were simple and I thought I knew it all. I heard this today and it made me chuckle, I think that maybe 2pac did have an excellent point. Haha!
"There's gonna be some stuff you gonna see that's gonna make it hard to smile in the future. But through whatever you see, through all the rain and the pain, you gotta keep your sense of humor. You gotta be able to smile through all this bullshit." --2pac, Smile

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

I can't believe I've been neglecting this

I apologize.

I just wanted to say that we were a "Featured Couple" on last week.

We were chosen because we're awesome. Seriously though, I'm not sure why.

I need to get better about blogging.

There's not much new with me other than I did discover that our insurance will cover the lap to fix my tube!!! YAY!!!

The only thing holding me back though is this economy. I'm still nervous about my job and the state of things. I work in real estate finance....what two sectors have been hit pretty damn hard? Yeah, real estate and finance. :-(

Today though as I was leaving, my boss actually seemed enthused and encouraged that things are going to start to turn up here soon. That is fantastic! Not only did I have to take a pay cut off of my salary, which is worth it to simply keep my job, but because transaction bonuses make up about 50% of my total package and we've been dead--my income has taken a hit. We've made some cuts and have been really good about socking money away and paying down our debt....just in case.

I sure hope things do turn around. I'd feel better about my job, I'd feel better about having my surgery and moving forward!