Sleeping in her own room = Fail!

Since we got home from the hospital, Savannah has been sleeping in our room in her pack-n-play (PNP). This weekend we decided to move her up into her wonderful nursery. I went out and got a breathable bumper last weekend in anticipation of the day we were putting off. Saturday we were cleaning and Justin packed up the PNP and even moved the rocker upstairs. "No turning back now!!" as Justin said.

Saturday night was tough for me. I nursed her upstairs for the first time in her room and read her a story. I put her down in the crib, turned on the monitor, turned off the lamp, and walked out.

She did fantastic! She fell asleep right away. Us? Not so much! When I finally fell asleep, I slept pretty well surprisingly. Justin? Not so much. He apparently spent most of the night watching the monitor and watching her breathe. When he did doze off, he woke up in a panic. He was useless on Sunday because of the little sleep he got.

Sunday night, I let Justin have a turn at putting her to bed. He took her upstairs and we were trying to adjust the monitor because he had moved it's position on the crib. He said, "I can't do this. I need my sleep and I like her downstairs with us.". Next thing I knew, he had brought Savannah downstairs and headed back up to retrieve the PNP. She slept down in our room again and I suspect that's where she will for awhile now!

Paranoid parents? That's us!!



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Location:Golden Gate Park,Austin,United States

I love my baby girl!

I love, love, love my baby girl so very much!

I am so completely and utterly amazed by everything she does, every smile she smiles. They still melt my heart.

I've been such a slacker at blogging yet again, but life has been getting in the way. When I get home from work, I want to spend every waking moment with S. I have to pay her daddy some attention too and spend time with him. I also, somehow, have to make time for ME. I feel pulled in a lot of different directions. But you know what? I wouldn't trade it for the world. I love being a mother.

Savannah started sleeping all through the night a few weeks ago. Hallelujah!! Not that she was difficult with one feeding at night. She is a phenomenal sleeper. I guess being prepared for the worst makes everything a little easier to handle. I would pump while Justin would give her a bottle. We'd be up and everyone would be back to sleep within 30 minutes. You won't get a complaint about that at all from me!
We went to Oregon to visit Justin's family and that did throw her off her schedule a bit, but towards the end of the trip, she was sleeping through the night again and has since we've been home. Can you believe she even lets us sleep in on weekends? I feel blessed to have the most easy-going baby ever. I guess after already "mothering" four babies, the big guy upstairs maybe felt I did my time.

Anyway, the plane rides were a success. I was so nervous to be THAT person with the screaming baby on the plane, but S was a champ. I think she liked the white noise of the plane and slept through most our flights. I also had to become more comfortable with nursing in public. I'm such a prude, I have a hard time doing it. I hate that people might be looking at me in disgust or even otherwise. We survived though!

While in Oregon, S had some firsts! She rolled over a couple times from her back to her tummy, she saw mountains and snow, she took her first trip to the zoo, and she met her daddy's cousins and aunts and uncles. I think she had a blast and enjoyed the cooler weather. I don't blame her, Texas gets hot as the sun sometimes in the summer.
Yesterday was her 4 month appointment. She's 25.5" tall (89 percentile) and 14 lbs, 11 oz (72 percentile). I don't know how, but I am growing a big girl! She's going to take after her daddy and tower over me by the time she's 8 or something. I secretly really hope that she slows down a bit on this. Everything is great with her. She's grabbing things here and there, but right now really just prefers to munch on her hand. She gets about 7-8 fingers in her mouth at one time and just chews away. I've tried to replace her hands with a teether and she's just not interested yet. She also babbles all the time. She's getting to be very noisy! She's FINALLY started to really like her swing and she's started to enjoy being in her jumparoo and bouncing.

She's so much fun now and I know its only going to get better! I'm a little sad that she's not my tiny little infant anymore, but don't read between the lines, I'm far from anxious to have #2!

Back to work

Maternity leave ended on Monday, so unfortunately it was back to work on Tuesday. It was a little surreal being back. My coworkers were very sweet and got me a box of my favorite cookies. Not good for the pudge but oh well. I managed however, to save the tears until I got home.

Wednesday was a lot tougher. I cried here at work. Reality is sinking in and it sucks. The nanny sent me a picture and Savannah looked grumpy. :-(. She didn't nap well Tuesday, but she slept well that night despite being cranky. I took her sleep positioner, the "Snuggle Nest" over to see if that helped on Wednesday and seems like it did. I thought maybe it would help her feel more at home. I also instucted the nanny to swaddle her. She didn't try that Tuesday, even though last week I mentioned to her that Savannah likes to be swaddled for sleeping.

It slightly bugged me that she didn't call or text to ask if there was anything that would help Savannah sleep. I don't want to come across as a controlling parent, but she's my baby. Plus, I know what she likes and doesn't like.

Wednesday night led to a lot of tears. All I wanted to do was snuggle her and kiss her and smell her. All Savannah wanted to was nurse all evening off and on, like she missed it. I was flattered of course, after all our struggling early on, now she seems to enjoy it. I just felt guilty. I waited for Savannah for almost three years and to just go place her with someone feels wrong.

I wish I would have known I'd feel this way. I thought I'd want to be a working mom with all my drive and determination. I thought I'd miss adult interaction. I didn't! I wish we'd made plans years ago. Actually though with the recession, even the best laid plans probably wouldn't have worked out.

I just hope this gets easier. Everyone says it will and I hope they aren't just saying that. I feel like I have the "baby blues" all over again.



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The Wii says...

The Wii says that I am down 4 lbs from the last weigh in which is 4 lbs down from even pre-pregnancy because I had already lost all the weight.

The Wii also says Savannah is 13.6 lbs. Way to go monkey!!!


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Good News & Bad News

Good news is that my pre-pregnancy work pants fit like a glove. I'm kind of amazed. I know I've lost the weight and have kept it off for awhile now, but my body is definitely "different". I'm pleased my pants fit. Some of them are actually a little big. Some are snug and if I were buying them today, I'd go up a size to be comfortable; but they will do.

Bad news is that 95% of my old shirts don't fit with my new boobs. This is a problem. I hope I can convince Justin to do a little shopping with me this weekend! Or let Savannah Banana and I go. She has a onesie that says, "Shopping with Mommy Makes Me Happy!" She's a momma's girl. I think all the smiles I can get out of her prove it. :)

We went to hang out with the nanny yesterday. It went well. I like her and she's good with kids....I just don't want to leave little S. :(

S is going to be spending time with another little boy who is 7 months old. He's so big compared to her and when we "introduced" them yesterday, the little Mr. C took a liking to Savannah, I think, because he leaned over and put his hand on her thigh! We both were like, "Cxxx!!!" I half jokingly told Justin he needs to start cleaning that gun. He's been saying for months now how he wants to get a gun, just to clean it when the boys come calling. He might need that sooner than 15 or 16 years from now!

Here's my little monkey in one of her many panda outfits. She was 11 weeks old yesterday.

Clarification

I wish (for Savannah's sake) I could quit my job but I really don't think it's going to happen anytime soon. To save my sanity, rather than look at the full three years or whatever we are looking at, I'm looking at things in six month increments-which will stretch out multiple times.

I like my job, I like the people I work with, but this little girl has rocked my world and rearranged my priorities unexpectedly. I should have seen it coming. Oh well. We have to make the best of it.

Hopefully Justin doesn't mouth off and get fired, I think that secretly he would love to be Mr. Mom. He's such a hands-on dad.

In other news, last week was the first week Savannah did not reject one single breastfeeding session! It only took ten weeks, but I think we are getting the hang of it!! She's becoming so interactive. We have hour long smile and stare sessions at each other and much to her daddy's dismay; she seems to be a momma's girl. She can track us moving, she turns her head to look for me when she hears my voice, she's got the smiling down great. She will grab hair and necklaces, as well as my shirt and her blankets, but she hasn't reached out for any toys yet. I can't believe how fast she's growing and I love watching her learn!



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One more week of maternity leave...

....and then its back to the "real world" for me. I'm dreading it.

I never thought I would feel so strongly about this, but I am ready to give up everything for her. I hate that we waited so long for her and are now dumping her off with a stranger. Fortunately, we found another couple with a nanny for their now six-month old little boy that was just itching to nanny-share, so she'll get a lot more one-on-one attention than at a daycare. She will also get to "socialize" with another baby, which granted, probably won't be all that much until she's older since she won't be all that interested. But still, its a little more personal for us. Nanny is from Brazil and speaks Portuguese and Spanish, as well as English of course, so Savannah will get to learn another language as she grows. If we knew someone who knew Mandarin, we'd have a well-rounded baby.

I'm changing my work hours from 9 am to 6 pm (or usually ended up being 7 pm) to 8 am to 4 pm without leaving for lunch. We'll see how that goes. I can tell you now that I'm not a fan. I really wish my boss was more flexible, but he's mentioned to a coworker who went to a part time schedule that he really wants us in the office every day. She's already locked up the part time option and I highly doubt he'd let two of us do that. I give it to the end of the year for Justin to either make more money and/or we get our credit cards paid down and we can re-evaluate our financial position. I don't make a boat ton of money, but I make a damn good amount and we're pretty used to our lifestyle....so we have to be comfortable with letting that go. Or maybe just have a heart to heart with my boss and negotiate something. I don't see why I couldn't work from home with the right equipment. Everything is submitted electronically these days, I feel like offices are becoming obsolete. I know though that he likes hollering out "Jennifer" from his office.... :-/

Anyway, on a happier note, in the past week, Savannah has really been smiling like crazy. She can't do much, but she can smile often and beautifully. It literally melts my heart and still brings tears to my eyes every now and then. The other day, we must have had an hour long session where she just laid next to me and we stared at each other and smiled over and over and over. I think she's becoming a Momma's girl because that same night, she wanted nothing to do with her daddy. He would hold her and she'd look around for me. Ha. I love it. I must be the luckiest person in the world. I'm sure every mom thinks that about their baby though. I am so thankful that she's healthy, appears to be happy, and that she's mine. She is perfect and I love her so much.